Proactive Mental Wellness: 5 Ways to Stay Connected

Lately, it seems the news is plagued with so many sad and negative stories that show the amount of pain around us. School shootings, celebrity suicides, hate motivated crimes... We, as a people, are hurting. And it seems more and more we don’t have outlets to express our pain. As it gets easier to not interact with each other, there is a stronger sense of isolation: we have online “friends”, we order our groceries online, we stare at a computer vs working in person…. Society is encouraging us in the loudest of terms to isolate ourselves. But to what end?
At our core, human beings wish to connect. We are made to connect. And not connecting is when our frustration of not having an outlet becomes louder. People – and connection – is vital to the human experience. When hearing about school shooters, celebrity suicides, social media “battles”, etc. the eventual answer is a person’s lack of connection to someone else.

How can we be proactive in staying connected and, therefore, mentally healthy?

1. Identify 1 – 3 people you consider yourself connected to:  When we say “connected” this is a person who you can be comfortable with.  Someone who has seen you “ugly cry” or has proven to have your back when times are tough.  Someone who you feel it’s OK to call at 2 am because you know they will support you.  Perhaps its your spouse or partner.  Perhaps its your parents.  Or even a close friend.  If you are not able to think of any, identify who could be worthy of eventually being a part of this honored group.
2. Make it a point to be vulnerable to one of these people:  No, I am not saying share your credit score or giving them your ATM pin….  This is a great chance to practice opening up!  What’s a silly secret you keep because it’s embarrassing?  Try something like that….  Do you bite your nails when no one is around?  Or perhaps you enjoy binge watching TV with a tub of ice cream in your hand….  If you are already close to your connected people, take it a step further and share something more!  And if you are just testing your potential connections, start small and let it grow as you gain confidence.
3. Embrace your passion:  Besides work, is there something you find genuine joy in?  It could be art, listening to music, or even zoning out to watch a good movie.  If you don’t have a passion, don’t be afraid to dig in and search for it!  No one is going to judge or stop you…  Try something.  Worst case, it doesn’t work.  Best case, you find something to get excited about.  Doesn’t seem like this is a big risk either way.
4. When you need support, let your connections know:  There are going to be times that we need the help of our friends.  It can be a break up, tough times at work or just feeling lost with purpose… Whatever it is, a simple heads up to your connection(s) is all it will take.  Let them be there for you.  You have identified them for a reason and when you are connected they will be willing to offer support.
5. Utilize the help of professional:  If you are feeling any of the above steps seem tough to address, find a therapist who can assist on this journey.  Addressing these steps BEFORE a problem happens is vital and a therapist can assist with this.  They can offer an objective perspective on your resources, guide your search for a passion, or even conduct a check up for your mindset to ensure you are confident in your forward progress.

"Love is our true destiny.  We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another." - Thomas Merton

Life is not a goal, it’s a journey.  And knowing humans are pack oriented it’s good for our health to be connected, to get feedback, and to enjoy the ups and downs as we continue forward.  We often take proactive approaches to our physical health, our future, our vehicle/home maintenance, and our children.  Why not do yourself a courtesy and do some proactive work for your own mental wellness?  If these tips are useful but are uncertain where you stand or where to start, how about starting with a Mental Physical?

​Mental wellness is a lifelong commitment and should have just as much attention as anything else we value in our lives.  If you are in need of assistance in getting yourself or your relationship back on track, call a therapist today!