The Weight of our Choices
How do our daily choices affect our lives?
We rarely think about it but each and every day is guided with choices we make. The choice to get up and meet our responsibilities; the choice to have coffee or tea; the choice to say hello to people you pass by; the choice to be positive or negative; and it goes on. But have you ever considered the far reach each of your choices actually has? Do you ever stop and think how something you do "automatically" has a ripple effect on the people around you?
Let's say you decided to stay up late to watch your favorite TV show. And as a result you oversleep the next day. You are now late for class/work and rush out of the house, you snap at your spouse because you feel rushed, you yell at traffic because it holds you up, you grunt a hello to your coworker as you race to catch up, and when you come home you just want the day to be over....
In Systems Theory it is believed that one person's attitude or behavior can affect an entire system. That means anything we do can have a domino effect on the people around us. Because you snapped at them, your spouse comes home grumpy and doesn't want to help with the household chores; Your hurried "hello" to your coworker has them giving you the cold shoulder all day.... What was an "automatic" response from you trickles down through your world and has effects that influenced more than just you. Whether you realized it, or not, sleeping late affected not only your day but the day of others.
It's very easy to say that you are not responsible for how others act, and yes that is true. But what if we considered choosing wisely to be proactive handling of our own needs? Being aware of the choices we make is important since our choices do affect the people around, just as their choices affect us. There are some socially responsible choices you may already make: recycling, giving to the less fortunate, donating your time…. But what are some every day choices we can make to cause a difference in our immediate world?
Some suggestions to consider with your everyday life that can have lasting impact include:
Deliberately choosing to start your day saying positive affirmations to those closest to you: a simple "good morning sunshine" could brighten anyone's mood. Or reminding someone how valuable they are to you. This can be especially useful if your day is starting badly: it can remind both you and your loved one of the positives that are in your lives.
Creating a morning ritual that helps maintain a positive attitude: Does lack of sleep make you grumpy? Are you always rushed in the mornings? How can you change up your morning ritual to help make the day start a little easier? Maybe it’s packing your lunch the night before or laying your clothes out. Or perhaps it's sleeping a little earlier to ensure you stay positive. Finding a morning ritual that can set the tone for your day makes a huge impact on your perspective.
Count to 10 before you react: Each day can be stressful. And as easy as it will be to temporarily lose your cool its equally easy to remind yourself to not sweat the small stuff. So what if someone cut you off in traffic? Who cares if you held the door and they didn't say 'thank you'? That other person may be having a tough day but don’t let them control how your day goes!
Watch your words: This is a rule we teach children but its true for any stage of life. Name calling, mocking, and negative talk will only bring out more negative.
Recognize your influence on someone else's experience: Do you realize a scowl on your face can ruin someone else's day? Yes, you have that control even if you don’t realize it! Make a conscious effort to smile when you see people - they just may need it too!!
It's so easy to get caught up in our every day. In a world of tight schedules, growing responsibility, and instant messages it's very simple to bury ourselves in our own needs and lives and not realize how connected we are to the people around us.
Gandhi said that we should be the change we want to see in the world. Are you ready?